shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
