Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
