can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
