Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
