The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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