And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
