Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
What a dumb baby whore.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
