he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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