Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
