how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
