i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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