At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
