All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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