im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
