so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I want to fling myself into the sun
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
