It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize