You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize