and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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