It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
