So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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