Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
