let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
