Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
