My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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