the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
