This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
