Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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