it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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