Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
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