My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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