You can't special order awesome
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
