You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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