She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
