Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just high enough for therapy.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
