I bet he comes in French.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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