Just fell off a train. Bad.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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