My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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