I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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