Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
