im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
