I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
this hospital has no fireball
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
