everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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