yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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