just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
