Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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