you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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