Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
