i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize