Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
