You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
