So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm always down for nudity.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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