When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
