Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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