HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
